Color of Hope

Loreal has a cosmetics collection specifically for Ovarian Cancer awareness.

September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. Each year, nearly 22,000 women are diagnosed with the disease and during this month, L'Oréal Paris would like to exceed 22,000 visits to the site. When you visit, you're helping to spread awareness. You'll also discover inspiring messages from survivors and L'Oréal Paris spokespeople, along with ways to help support the cause, including the Color of Hope Cosmetics Collections.www.lorealcolorofhope.com.

Nancyslist.org

A lady named Nancy, has miraculously survived Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer, and has been cancer free for 2 years. She started an online community, like a craigslist, to help people with all kinds of cancer. Check out her website:

Nancy’s List is a grassroots movement committed to significantly improving the lives of the many people in our community who are living with cancer and those who love and care for them. The epidemic of cancer demands an innovative response. We cannot rely on the healthcare system to focus on the many challenges that come with a cancer diagnosis but we can rely on ourselves and our desire to serve and our generosity of spirit and reach out and support the courage and bravery and resilience of our neighbors. We invite you to open your heart and join us.

Teal Toes

There is a new way to bring Ovarian Cancer awareness. Many people are painting their toe nails in a shade of teal for the month of September. Three nail polish companies are donating proceeds from their teal color. Check out the website for lots more info:

Welcome to Teal Toes!

Our mission is to raise awareness of ovarian cancer.

How? By painting your toenails teal, the ovarian cancer color. By getting your friends to paint their toenails teal too, and then by talking with people when they ask about it, to make sure that they know the signs of this whispering killer.

Any time of year is good for teal toes, but we especially recommend September, the ovarian cancer awareness month!

Four Month Anniversary

Today marks the fourth month of my sister's passing. I know she is resting in God's perfect peace. In her honour, I am showing the gift and card she gave my son for his first Easter. This is significant because she died on the morning of Easter Sunday. I am so glad that in my sentimental saving, I have all these treasures to share. The outer envelope is funny.

From Griefshare

Life is marked by losses. Some are life changing, such as leaving home, the effects of natural disasters or war, the death of a loved one, or divorce. Others are subtle, like changing jobs, moving, or a broken friendship. But whether you encounter family, personal, or community disaster, there is always potential for change, growth, and new insight.

QVC

On August 1, 2009, 2 pm Eastern/11 am Pacific, QVC will host Super Saturday Live, a nationally televised sales event featuring designer products in support of the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund (OCRF). The net proceeds from this event will be donated to OCRF to advance ovarian cancer research, raise awareness of the disease, and eventually find a cure.

In support of the fight against ovarian cancer, QVC has invited top brand names and companies to donate high-quality apparel, accessories, beauty, jewelry, and home goods at wholesale cost. This merchandise will be sold during the Super Saturday Live event both on QVC's broadcast and QVC.com with all net proceeds benefiting OCRF. In 2007, Super Saturday 10 – which boasted a number of top brand names, media attention, and celebrity attendees – raised over $3.2 million with all proceeds benefiting OCRF. Check out the brands that have partnered with QVC and OCRF this year to make this event a success (this is an abbreviated list):

;

Ovarian Cancer 2009

There is no denying that the following statistics are alarming. It is good to have the information if you are at all concerned. My sister recently died from Ovarian Cancer so I went and had as many tests as were recommended. All of my tests came back negative. I took my son to see a Martial Arts expert 2 weeks ago. He happened to mention that his wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 8 years ago! I do not know all of her details but he said she was fine now. Some will survive. Here are some basic highlights:

The American Cancer Society estimates that over 21,550 women will be diagnosed with ovarian cancer and an estimated 14,600 will die of the disease in the United States in 2009.

In the U.S., 1 in 71 women are at risk of getting invasive ovarian cancer during their lifetime.

The lifetime risk of developing invasive ovarian cancer and dying from it are 1 in 95.

Ovarian cancer causes more deaths than any other type of female reproductive cancer.

The overall five-year survival rate for ovarian cancer is 46% compared to over 89% for breast cancer.

Ovarian cancer survival rates have not improved as extensively as those of some other cancers that affect primarily women; for example, women diagnosed with breast cancer from 1975 to 1979 experienced a five-year survival rate of 75 percent and today this rate is 89%.

The risk of developing ovarian cancer increases with age and it is primarily diagnosed in post-menopausal women- about two-thirds of women diagnosed with the disease are 55 years or older.

The cause of the disease is unknown and it is often referred to as “the whispering disease” because the signs and symptoms are vague and often mimic other digestive and gastrointestinal disorders.

• Ovarian cancer at its early stage usually has no obvious symptoms or very subtle ones. Symptoms may include:

• persistent bloating or swelling
• pelvic or abdominal pain or pressure
• vague but persistent gastrointestinal upset such as indigestion, gas or nausea
• unexplained weight gain or loss, especially weight gain in the abdominal region without an increase in food intake
• feeling of fullness even after a light meal
• unexplained changes in bowel habits (constipation or diarrhea)
• frequency and/or urgency of urination in absence of an infection
• back or leg pain
• pain during intercourse
• menstrual irregularities
• ongoing fatigue
• abnormal post-menopausal vaginal bleeding

O Happy Day

Lyrics to a song we sang in church yesterday made me think of Guen:

When I stand, in that place
Free at last, meeting face to face
I am Yours Jesus You are mine
Endless joy, perfect peace
Earthly pain finally will cease
Celebrate Jesus is alive
He's alive

How Am I Doing?

Thanks for the prayers everyone. I appreciate and need them so much.

You never really know how much you love someone until they are gone. Daily I am reminded of this. I keep finding what I call treasures; gifts and cards from her for all different occasions over the years. The daily crying has turned into moments of crying. There are times when I cannot believe what has happened, and other times it is crystal clear what has taken place. Daily obligations propel me into activity, but there are constant reminders. I can tell you that God has a plan and that she is in heaven. We should rejoice in that. I know it is true. On paper it all sounds wonderful. However there is the emotional side of it. The side that also knows that she will not be here for Thanksgiving dinner, for Christmas day, and for her daughters 2nd birthday. The pain can be very intense. I have forced myself not to dwell on it because nothing can change the situation. The days are easy...the moments are hard. I have to do laundry and meals, and take my son to swim lessons. All these things fill a day and the time passes on.

I have lots of support from wonderful family and friends, like you. People want to help so bad, but truthfully all anyone can do is pray. Pray that we don't succumb to the grief, that we can sleep through the night, and help support her husband and daughter.

Obituary

For anyone who did not get to see my sister's obituary (slightly edited):

In Loving Memory GUENEVERE TERESA MOLLOY 02/05/1973 -4/12/2009

Guenevere “Guen” Teresa, 36, of CA went home to be with the Lord on Easter Sunday, April 12, 2009 in CA. She is survived by her husband David, daughter Elizabeth (Libby) , parents, Joseph and Margaret, sister, Veronica, 2 brothers, Kenny and Stephen. Also many aunts, uncles, cousins and family members. Visitation will be from 5 to 7 p.m. Thursday with a Rosary at 7 p.m. at Bobbitt Memorial Chapel, 1299 E. Highland Ave. San Bernardino, CA. Mass of the Christian Burial will be 10 a.m. Friday, April 17, 2009 at St. Adelaide Catholic Church, 27457 Baseline, Highland, CA with interment to follow at Our Lady Queen of Peace Cemetery, Colton, Ca.

Angel in the Sky

This is sweet Libby, who will be 2 years old on 9-09-09. The painting arrived in the mail a few days ago. It is from a long time friend, Dot, who knew Guen since she was 9. On the back it says "Angel in the Sky for Libby 2009-Remember Guen". The reason this is so special, is like Libby, her mom died when she was a very little girl. She wanted her to know that throughout her life, she felt that her mom was always there, watching over her-especially during the bad times. The angel is leading a choir of angels with one hand, and the other hand is holding a heart with an "L" for Libby. A special thank you to Dot! The thoughtfulness of others continue to touch us.

Do the Next Thing

I went to a conference years ago, and Elizabeth Elliot was the main speaker. When she was young, she told her mother about some huge drama over a boy. Her mom told her to start her chores. She replied "But mother I will just die!" to which her mother responded, "Then iron while you die dear, iron while you die!" When grief or any challenge strikes, just look around...what needs to be done? Do the next thing. She quoted this poem (author unknown):

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DO THE NEXT THING.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, do the next thing

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
Leave all results, do the next thing

Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, do the next thing.

Three Month Anniversary

This weekend I attended my high school reunion. I had been looking forward to it since last year. I let my classmates from the Christian high school know about my sister via email and asked for their prayers when she was diagnosed with the cancer. When I arrived, they all had let me know how much they had prayed for and thought about Guen's plight. I talked to Natalie later in the evening. She lost her little daughter a couple of years ago due to an illness they did not know she had.

I really wanted to know what she had learned from it all. She spoke about having every foundation crumble. All things known about God were questioned and for the first time in her life she was angry with God. A grief support group via GriefShare.com and the book, "Heaven", by Randy Alcorn helped her a lot. She continued to cry daily and her husband got very busy. They eventually adopted a new 6 month baby girl. She struggles with knowing that God heals people everyday and knowing that He chose not to heal her daughter, Savannah.

While I talked with her, Sue was standing there with us. She had been a missionary to China for 13 years. After listening to everything we said, she told us about the suffering that she had witnessed on many levels and that the despair was, at times, overwhelming. Close friends are now in a Chinese jail being tortured for their Christian beliefs. The persecution is so great for believers there (the growing underground church) that she realized over time that these people would have a closeness to the Lord that she would probably never have. Many go through their entire lives with only expected challenges, like the death of an elderly parent. She reminded me about the "Fellowship of the Suffering" talked about in Philippians 3:10, and told Natalie and I, that we are a part of that. The night was wonderful and I had a great time, but talking to these women was really a divine appointment.

Three months have passed since Guen died on April 12th. That is a sentence I wish I never had to write.

What a View

Cool, crisp, air and sunshine. I love when you need a light sweater in July! We were facing the lighthouse. 

Pigeon Point Lighthouse

We stopped in Pescadero, on the way home. This picture is for my brother-in-law, Dave, who loves lighthouses! The 115-foot Pigeon Point Lighthouse, one of the tallest lighthouses in America, has been guiding mariners since 1872.  It is still an active U.S. Coast Guard aid to navigation using a 24 inch Aero Beacon. 

A Lucky Find

Back from vacation...we went hiking in the Redwoods and happened upon many patches of shamrocks. I took this picture for Guen.

Thoughts of Comfort

I was introduced to this jeweler by a friend who went to Texas. The description of this piece, by James Avery, is very fitting for all of us who miss Guenevere:

This medallion is a simple reminder that it is only through God's grace that we are given his victory over things in our life which hurtfully beset us. Whether it is the sudden loss of a loved one, devastation, disease, affliction or any other adversity, we are given His comforting promise to be with us, and to ease our hearts of a terrible burden, which if it were not for His mercy and grace, would be unbearable.

Dwell on this

"I don't think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that still remains."

Anne Frank

Encouraging Art

Phillipians 4:8 lists what to meditate on, including things that are lovely. This is especially helpful during times of sadness and grief. 

This artist, Kelly Rae Roberts,  has a gentle touch in subject and color choice. You can find her here:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25495089 

Bless You

A Blessing for my Sister

With the first light of sun,

...Bless you.

When the day is done,

...Bless you.

In our smiles and in our tears,

...Bless you.

Through each day of all our years,

...Bless you.

Two Months Ago

Two months ago today, my lovely sister passed. Oh the sorrow! I was blessed to find a note she wrote to me when she was little, probably 8 or 9 years old. I hope I thanked her properly. She wrote it on a sheet of notebook paper in blue marker. I will type it how she wrote it:

Dear Veronica,

I cleaned your side of the room for you. And mopped the Floor, under yo ur bed For you Just to show my Appreciation For you Alaways Being There (In my room) When I needed you.

Your Welcome,

Guen

Our Irish Angel

Note the red hair and the shamrocks! She wore lots of robes when she got sick. Her new robe is the best...no more sickness.

Tis' Grand

My cousin gave me this bracelet the day of the funeral. The charm is from Ireland. She is very thoughtful that way and very talented. She made a different Irish bracelet for Guen while she was in the hospital. I love the bracelet, the flowers she tucked in, and her kindness. I have saved everything I received; cards, emails, gifts, and they are going in a special treasure box.

  

Good Grief

Last night I was working on some art projects and pulled out the art supplies that use to be my sister's. I thought it would be fun, and at first it was. Then my mind shifted to wondering what she had planned to use the pretty pens and papers for. Without any warning, I had quite an emotional episode. This was a surprise to me because after I cry a lot, I feel like I can't anymore. When I do, its very short. It was intense this time and caught me a bit off guard. Then I thought, well if my husband comes into the room, boy will he get a big surprise! He had just dropped off a cup of tea and saw me happily at work. I continued using the supplies, and I still will. The husband never came in. Oh grief...I guess you're here to stay. 

These roses are blooming in Guen's backyard... and Libby is still blooming too.   

Gravesite

Here are some pictures of Guenevere's grave stone. Tis' a nice location on a hill. Her husband, Dave, will be buried next to her someday. These are the views from front and back. Its actually very pretty, and there are some lovely flowers planted close by. I miss her dearly.

A Heartfelt Tear

Some people have the gift of compassion. Others are fearful of it and avoid the subject completely. A wonderful friend sent this poem to me:


HEARTFELT TEAR
So close are the angels to those that grieve.
So close in Heaven to those who believe.
'Tho difficult it is to sometimes see beyond the sorrow,
Memories will help to comfort your tomorrow.
For love leaves a path that no one can steal,
And time is the element that it takes to heal.
The heartfelt tears you feel today
Is the delight you felt from yesterday.
So look inside the chambers of your heart
To see that you are not really apart.
When sorrow comes, just look above
Tears belong to those who had love.
True love never dies…….I Cor 13

Scholarship

On behalf of the Board of Directors of the California Advancement Researchers Association (CARA) < http://www.caresearchers.org >,we have unanimously voted to re-name our existing conference scholarship in memory of Guen, who once served as CARA's treasurer. The naming of the scholarship in Guen's honor and memory will be in perpetuity.

I remember how genuinely kind and helpful she was to me when I first joined the CARA Board in January 2007 and it is
evident that her loss has left a void in our profession and deeply saddened numerous research colleagues who knew her closely and whose lives she touched. We wish to honor her spirit and her service and dedication to our profession by renaming our existing annual conference scholarship in her memory.

Kind Regards,
Kimberly A. Ordunio

Testing 1,2,3...

I was told last week by a genetic cancer counselor that I am high risk for cancer. They are running all sorts of tests and so far everything is coming back normal. I am not worried about all this btw, as I gave it up to prayer. I just hung up with the nurse who gave a follow up call to say that my pelvic ultrasound was labeled as "unremarkable" and that the mammogram was benign. Looking forward to more tests coming back. This is new for me. I usually operate under a spirit of fear, telling myself I'd rather not know. Those days are over.

Prayers of the Faithful

When you get the news that you are pregnant, the thought never leaves your mind. For the duration, you are consumed with thoughts of everything "baby." I feel the same way about losing someone close. Everyday I wake up, and it takes just a few seconds before I am aware all over again...oh yes, my sister. I know that He knows, but sometimes I remind Him: God, I lost my sister.

During one of our visits in the hospital, she commented that she would pray for those who were praying for her. I thought that was so nice, and truthfully something I never thought of. I pray for people and situations that come to mind, but it never occurred to me, to pray for those AS they were praying for me. I knew it was a gift to hold onto when she spoke of it.

Sharing Grief

If you ever need it, Griefshare.org is a website dedicated to people going through loss and grief, and it has been very helpful to me. You can sign up for their emails.

There have been some really low moments and I felt like my emotions were affecting me physically. It is common to experience anxiety and worry many times in life. This was something different. Never before have I felt so overcome with sadness upon learning that my 35 year old sister had cancer. The shock manifested itself into this constant state of soreness. I consciously forced myself to relax and really focus on being healthy. When I called her friend back East to let her know, my bones hurt. The next day came an email from Griefshare. In it was a verse from Psalms about David crying out to the Lord in his sorrow, telling Him that his bones hurt! Wow- grief takes on many forms.

Happy Mother's Day!

You were a wonderful mum to Libby Guen! Happy Mother's Day to you dear sister. I am so glad you got to fulfill your dream of becoming a mother. This picture was taken Easter 2008.

One of Her Many Talents

Guen was a fabulous cook. She made this fresh fruit salad for Easter 2008. We would take turns cooking for the various holidays.

Yesterday I asked my brother-in-law for any of Guen's recipes that she was famous for. He made copies of 2 pie recipes and gave them to me. She was famous for the pumpkin one. We have all tasted pumpkin pie before but this one has whiskey in it and oh my! We made sure she always made it for Thanksgiving. The other one is apple and it was amazing. I was looking through some pictures and I was shocked to find this one...didn't know I had it. This picture is from Thanksgiving 2008 and I am so thankful.