Four Month Anniversary

Today marks the fourth month of my sister's passing. I know she is resting in God's perfect peace. In her honour, I am showing the gift and card she gave my son for his first Easter. This is significant because she died on the morning of Easter Sunday. I am so glad that in my sentimental saving, I have all these treasures to share. The outer envelope is funny.

Three Month Anniversary

This weekend I attended my high school reunion. I had been looking forward to it since last year. I let my classmates from the Christian high school know about my sister via email and asked for their prayers when she was diagnosed with the cancer. When I arrived, they all had let me know how much they had prayed for and thought about Guen's plight. I talked to Natalie later in the evening. She lost her little daughter a couple of years ago due to an illness they did not know she had.

I really wanted to know what she had learned from it all. She spoke about having every foundation crumble. All things known about God were questioned and for the first time in her life she was angry with God. A grief support group via GriefShare.com and the book, "Heaven", by Randy Alcorn helped her a lot. She continued to cry daily and her husband got very busy. They eventually adopted a new 6 month baby girl. She struggles with knowing that God heals people everyday and knowing that He chose not to heal her daughter, Savannah.

While I talked with her, Sue was standing there with us. She had been a missionary to China for 13 years. After listening to everything we said, she told us about the suffering that she had witnessed on many levels and that the despair was, at times, overwhelming. Close friends are now in a Chinese jail being tortured for their Christian beliefs. The persecution is so great for believers there (the growing underground church) that she realized over time that these people would have a closeness to the Lord that she would probably never have. Many go through their entire lives with only expected challenges, like the death of an elderly parent. She reminded me about the "Fellowship of the Suffering" talked about in Philippians 3:10, and told Natalie and I, that we are a part of that. The night was wonderful and I had a great time, but talking to these women was really a divine appointment.

Three months have passed since Guen died on April 12th. That is a sentence I wish I never had to write.

Good Grief

Last night I was working on some art projects and pulled out the art supplies that use to be my sister's. I thought it would be fun, and at first it was. Then my mind shifted to wondering what she had planned to use the pretty pens and papers for. Without any warning, I had quite an emotional episode. This was a surprise to me because after I cry a lot, I feel like I can't anymore. When I do, its very short. It was intense this time and caught me a bit off guard. Then I thought, well if my husband comes into the room, boy will he get a big surprise! He had just dropped off a cup of tea and saw me happily at work. I continued using the supplies, and I still will. The husband never came in. Oh grief...I guess you're here to stay. 

These roses are blooming in Guen's backyard... and Libby is still blooming too.   

Scholarship

On behalf of the Board of Directors of the California Advancement Researchers Association (CARA) < http://www.caresearchers.org >,we have unanimously voted to re-name our existing conference scholarship in memory of Guen, who once served as CARA's treasurer. The naming of the scholarship in Guen's honor and memory will be in perpetuity.

I remember how genuinely kind and helpful she was to me when I first joined the CARA Board in January 2007 and it is
evident that her loss has left a void in our profession and deeply saddened numerous research colleagues who knew her closely and whose lives she touched. We wish to honor her spirit and her service and dedication to our profession by renaming our existing annual conference scholarship in her memory.

Kind Regards,
Kimberly A. Ordunio

Prayers of the Faithful

When you get the news that you are pregnant, the thought never leaves your mind. For the duration, you are consumed with thoughts of everything "baby." I feel the same way about losing someone close. Everyday I wake up, and it takes just a few seconds before I am aware all over again...oh yes, my sister. I know that He knows, but sometimes I remind Him: God, I lost my sister.

During one of our visits in the hospital, she commented that she would pray for those who were praying for her. I thought that was so nice, and truthfully something I never thought of. I pray for people and situations that come to mind, but it never occurred to me, to pray for those AS they were praying for me. I knew it was a gift to hold onto when she spoke of it.