Angel in the Sky

This is sweet Libby, who will be 2 years old on 9-09-09. The painting arrived in the mail a few days ago. It is from a long time friend, Dot, who knew Guen since she was 9. On the back it says "Angel in the Sky for Libby 2009-Remember Guen". The reason this is so special, is like Libby, her mom died when she was a very little girl. She wanted her to know that throughout her life, she felt that her mom was always there, watching over her-especially during the bad times. The angel is leading a choir of angels with one hand, and the other hand is holding a heart with an "L" for Libby. A special thank you to Dot! The thoughtfulness of others continue to touch us.

Three Month Anniversary

This weekend I attended my high school reunion. I had been looking forward to it since last year. I let my classmates from the Christian high school know about my sister via email and asked for their prayers when she was diagnosed with the cancer. When I arrived, they all had let me know how much they had prayed for and thought about Guen's plight. I talked to Natalie later in the evening. She lost her little daughter a couple of years ago due to an illness they did not know she had.

I really wanted to know what she had learned from it all. She spoke about having every foundation crumble. All things known about God were questioned and for the first time in her life she was angry with God. A grief support group via GriefShare.com and the book, "Heaven", by Randy Alcorn helped her a lot. She continued to cry daily and her husband got very busy. They eventually adopted a new 6 month baby girl. She struggles with knowing that God heals people everyday and knowing that He chose not to heal her daughter, Savannah.

While I talked with her, Sue was standing there with us. She had been a missionary to China for 13 years. After listening to everything we said, she told us about the suffering that she had witnessed on many levels and that the despair was, at times, overwhelming. Close friends are now in a Chinese jail being tortured for their Christian beliefs. The persecution is so great for believers there (the growing underground church) that she realized over time that these people would have a closeness to the Lord that she would probably never have. Many go through their entire lives with only expected challenges, like the death of an elderly parent. She reminded me about the "Fellowship of the Suffering" talked about in Philippians 3:10, and told Natalie and I, that we are a part of that. The night was wonderful and I had a great time, but talking to these women was really a divine appointment.

Three months have passed since Guen died on April 12th. That is a sentence I wish I never had to write.

Thoughts of Comfort

I was introduced to this jeweler by a friend who went to Texas. The description of this piece, by James Avery, is very fitting for all of us who miss Guenevere:

This medallion is a simple reminder that it is only through God's grace that we are given his victory over things in our life which hurtfully beset us. Whether it is the sudden loss of a loved one, devastation, disease, affliction or any other adversity, we are given His comforting promise to be with us, and to ease our hearts of a terrible burden, which if it were not for His mercy and grace, would be unbearable.

Dwell on this

"I don't think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that still remains."

Anne Frank

Encouraging Art

Phillipians 4:8 lists what to meditate on, including things that are lovely. This is especially helpful during times of sadness and grief. 

This artist, Kelly Rae Roberts,  has a gentle touch in subject and color choice. You can find her here:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25495089 

Sharing Grief

If you ever need it, Griefshare.org is a website dedicated to people going through loss and grief, and it has been very helpful to me. You can sign up for their emails.

There have been some really low moments and I felt like my emotions were affecting me physically. It is common to experience anxiety and worry many times in life. This was something different. Never before have I felt so overcome with sadness upon learning that my 35 year old sister had cancer. The shock manifested itself into this constant state of soreness. I consciously forced myself to relax and really focus on being healthy. When I called her friend back East to let her know, my bones hurt. The next day came an email from Griefshare. In it was a verse from Psalms about David crying out to the Lord in his sorrow, telling Him that his bones hurt! Wow- grief takes on many forms.