How Am I Doing?

Thanks for the prayers everyone. I appreciate and need them so much.

You never really know how much you love someone until they are gone. Daily I am reminded of this. I keep finding what I call treasures; gifts and cards from her for all different occasions over the years. The daily crying has turned into moments of crying. There are times when I cannot believe what has happened, and other times it is crystal clear what has taken place. Daily obligations propel me into activity, but there are constant reminders. I can tell you that God has a plan and that she is in heaven. We should rejoice in that. I know it is true. On paper it all sounds wonderful. However there is the emotional side of it. The side that also knows that she will not be here for Thanksgiving dinner, for Christmas day, and for her daughters 2nd birthday. The pain can be very intense. I have forced myself not to dwell on it because nothing can change the situation. The days are easy...the moments are hard. I have to do laundry and meals, and take my son to swim lessons. All these things fill a day and the time passes on.

I have lots of support from wonderful family and friends, like you. People want to help so bad, but truthfully all anyone can do is pray. Pray that we don't succumb to the grief, that we can sleep through the night, and help support her husband and daughter.