QVC

On August 1, 2009, 2 pm Eastern/11 am Pacific, QVC will host Super Saturday Live, a nationally televised sales event featuring designer products in support of the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund (OCRF). The net proceeds from this event will be donated to OCRF to advance ovarian cancer research, raise awareness of the disease, and eventually find a cure.

In support of the fight against ovarian cancer, QVC has invited top brand names and companies to donate high-quality apparel, accessories, beauty, jewelry, and home goods at wholesale cost. This merchandise will be sold during the Super Saturday Live event both on QVC's broadcast and QVC.com with all net proceeds benefiting OCRF. In 2007, Super Saturday 10 – which boasted a number of top brand names, media attention, and celebrity attendees – raised over $3.2 million with all proceeds benefiting OCRF. Check out the brands that have partnered with QVC and OCRF this year to make this event a success (this is an abbreviated list):

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Ovarian Cancer 2009

There is no denying that the following statistics are alarming. It is good to have the information if you are at all concerned. My sister recently died from Ovarian Cancer so I went and had as many tests as were recommended. All of my tests came back negative. I took my son to see a Martial Arts expert 2 weeks ago. He happened to mention that his wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 8 years ago! I do not know all of her details but he said she was fine now. Some will survive. Here are some basic highlights:

The American Cancer Society estimates that over 21,550 women will be diagnosed with ovarian cancer and an estimated 14,600 will die of the disease in the United States in 2009.

In the U.S., 1 in 71 women are at risk of getting invasive ovarian cancer during their lifetime.

The lifetime risk of developing invasive ovarian cancer and dying from it are 1 in 95.

Ovarian cancer causes more deaths than any other type of female reproductive cancer.

The overall five-year survival rate for ovarian cancer is 46% compared to over 89% for breast cancer.

Ovarian cancer survival rates have not improved as extensively as those of some other cancers that affect primarily women; for example, women diagnosed with breast cancer from 1975 to 1979 experienced a five-year survival rate of 75 percent and today this rate is 89%.

The risk of developing ovarian cancer increases with age and it is primarily diagnosed in post-menopausal women- about two-thirds of women diagnosed with the disease are 55 years or older.

The cause of the disease is unknown and it is often referred to as “the whispering disease” because the signs and symptoms are vague and often mimic other digestive and gastrointestinal disorders.

• Ovarian cancer at its early stage usually has no obvious symptoms or very subtle ones. Symptoms may include:

• persistent bloating or swelling
• pelvic or abdominal pain or pressure
• vague but persistent gastrointestinal upset such as indigestion, gas or nausea
• unexplained weight gain or loss, especially weight gain in the abdominal region without an increase in food intake
• feeling of fullness even after a light meal
• unexplained changes in bowel habits (constipation or diarrhea)
• frequency and/or urgency of urination in absence of an infection
• back or leg pain
• pain during intercourse
• menstrual irregularities
• ongoing fatigue
• abnormal post-menopausal vaginal bleeding

O Happy Day

Lyrics to a song we sang in church yesterday made me think of Guen:

When I stand, in that place
Free at last, meeting face to face
I am Yours Jesus You are mine
Endless joy, perfect peace
Earthly pain finally will cease
Celebrate Jesus is alive
He's alive

How Am I Doing?

Thanks for the prayers everyone. I appreciate and need them so much.

You never really know how much you love someone until they are gone. Daily I am reminded of this. I keep finding what I call treasures; gifts and cards from her for all different occasions over the years. The daily crying has turned into moments of crying. There are times when I cannot believe what has happened, and other times it is crystal clear what has taken place. Daily obligations propel me into activity, but there are constant reminders. I can tell you that God has a plan and that she is in heaven. We should rejoice in that. I know it is true. On paper it all sounds wonderful. However there is the emotional side of it. The side that also knows that she will not be here for Thanksgiving dinner, for Christmas day, and for her daughters 2nd birthday. The pain can be very intense. I have forced myself not to dwell on it because nothing can change the situation. The days are easy...the moments are hard. I have to do laundry and meals, and take my son to swim lessons. All these things fill a day and the time passes on.

I have lots of support from wonderful family and friends, like you. People want to help so bad, but truthfully all anyone can do is pray. Pray that we don't succumb to the grief, that we can sleep through the night, and help support her husband and daughter.

Obituary

For anyone who did not get to see my sister's obituary (slightly edited):

In Loving Memory GUENEVERE TERESA MOLLOY 02/05/1973 -4/12/2009

Guenevere “Guen” Teresa, 36, of CA went home to be with the Lord on Easter Sunday, April 12, 2009 in CA. She is survived by her husband David, daughter Elizabeth (Libby) , parents, Joseph and Margaret, sister, Veronica, 2 brothers, Kenny and Stephen. Also many aunts, uncles, cousins and family members. Visitation will be from 5 to 7 p.m. Thursday with a Rosary at 7 p.m. at Bobbitt Memorial Chapel, 1299 E. Highland Ave. San Bernardino, CA. Mass of the Christian Burial will be 10 a.m. Friday, April 17, 2009 at St. Adelaide Catholic Church, 27457 Baseline, Highland, CA with interment to follow at Our Lady Queen of Peace Cemetery, Colton, Ca.

Angel in the Sky

This is sweet Libby, who will be 2 years old on 9-09-09. The painting arrived in the mail a few days ago. It is from a long time friend, Dot, who knew Guen since she was 9. On the back it says "Angel in the Sky for Libby 2009-Remember Guen". The reason this is so special, is like Libby, her mom died when she was a very little girl. She wanted her to know that throughout her life, she felt that her mom was always there, watching over her-especially during the bad times. The angel is leading a choir of angels with one hand, and the other hand is holding a heart with an "L" for Libby. A special thank you to Dot! The thoughtfulness of others continue to touch us.

Do the Next Thing

I went to a conference years ago, and Elizabeth Elliot was the main speaker. When she was young, she told her mother about some huge drama over a boy. Her mom told her to start her chores. She replied "But mother I will just die!" to which her mother responded, "Then iron while you die dear, iron while you die!" When grief or any challenge strikes, just look around...what needs to be done? Do the next thing. She quoted this poem (author unknown):

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the doors the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DO THE NEXT THING.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, do the next thing

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
Leave all results, do the next thing

Looking for Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor;
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, do the next thing.

Three Month Anniversary

This weekend I attended my high school reunion. I had been looking forward to it since last year. I let my classmates from the Christian high school know about my sister via email and asked for their prayers when she was diagnosed with the cancer. When I arrived, they all had let me know how much they had prayed for and thought about Guen's plight. I talked to Natalie later in the evening. She lost her little daughter a couple of years ago due to an illness they did not know she had.

I really wanted to know what she had learned from it all. She spoke about having every foundation crumble. All things known about God were questioned and for the first time in her life she was angry with God. A grief support group via GriefShare.com and the book, "Heaven", by Randy Alcorn helped her a lot. She continued to cry daily and her husband got very busy. They eventually adopted a new 6 month baby girl. She struggles with knowing that God heals people everyday and knowing that He chose not to heal her daughter, Savannah.

While I talked with her, Sue was standing there with us. She had been a missionary to China for 13 years. After listening to everything we said, she told us about the suffering that she had witnessed on many levels and that the despair was, at times, overwhelming. Close friends are now in a Chinese jail being tortured for their Christian beliefs. The persecution is so great for believers there (the growing underground church) that she realized over time that these people would have a closeness to the Lord that she would probably never have. Many go through their entire lives with only expected challenges, like the death of an elderly parent. She reminded me about the "Fellowship of the Suffering" talked about in Philippians 3:10, and told Natalie and I, that we are a part of that. The night was wonderful and I had a great time, but talking to these women was really a divine appointment.

Three months have passed since Guen died on April 12th. That is a sentence I wish I never had to write.

What a View

Cool, crisp, air and sunshine. I love when you need a light sweater in July! We were facing the lighthouse. 

Pigeon Point Lighthouse

We stopped in Pescadero, on the way home. This picture is for my brother-in-law, Dave, who loves lighthouses! The 115-foot Pigeon Point Lighthouse, one of the tallest lighthouses in America, has been guiding mariners since 1872.  It is still an active U.S. Coast Guard aid to navigation using a 24 inch Aero Beacon. 

A Lucky Find

Back from vacation...we went hiking in the Redwoods and happened upon many patches of shamrocks. I took this picture for Guen.

Thoughts of Comfort

I was introduced to this jeweler by a friend who went to Texas. The description of this piece, by James Avery, is very fitting for all of us who miss Guenevere:

This medallion is a simple reminder that it is only through God's grace that we are given his victory over things in our life which hurtfully beset us. Whether it is the sudden loss of a loved one, devastation, disease, affliction or any other adversity, we are given His comforting promise to be with us, and to ease our hearts of a terrible burden, which if it were not for His mercy and grace, would be unbearable.

Dwell on this

"I don't think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that still remains."

Anne Frank

Encouraging Art

Phillipians 4:8 lists what to meditate on, including things that are lovely. This is especially helpful during times of sadness and grief. 

This artist, Kelly Rae Roberts,  has a gentle touch in subject and color choice. You can find her here:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25495089 

Bless You

A Blessing for my Sister

With the first light of sun,

...Bless you.

When the day is done,

...Bless you.

In our smiles and in our tears,

...Bless you.

Through each day of all our years,

...Bless you.

Two Months Ago

Two months ago today, my lovely sister passed. Oh the sorrow! I was blessed to find a note she wrote to me when she was little, probably 8 or 9 years old. I hope I thanked her properly. She wrote it on a sheet of notebook paper in blue marker. I will type it how she wrote it:

Dear Veronica,

I cleaned your side of the room for you. And mopped the Floor, under yo ur bed For you Just to show my Appreciation For you Alaways Being There (In my room) When I needed you.

Your Welcome,

Guen

Our Irish Angel

Note the red hair and the shamrocks! She wore lots of robes when she got sick. Her new robe is the best...no more sickness.

Tis' Grand

My cousin gave me this bracelet the day of the funeral. The charm is from Ireland. She is very thoughtful that way and very talented. She made a different Irish bracelet for Guen while she was in the hospital. I love the bracelet, the flowers she tucked in, and her kindness. I have saved everything I received; cards, emails, gifts, and they are going in a special treasure box.

  

Good Grief

Last night I was working on some art projects and pulled out the art supplies that use to be my sister's. I thought it would be fun, and at first it was. Then my mind shifted to wondering what she had planned to use the pretty pens and papers for. Without any warning, I had quite an emotional episode. This was a surprise to me because after I cry a lot, I feel like I can't anymore. When I do, its very short. It was intense this time and caught me a bit off guard. Then I thought, well if my husband comes into the room, boy will he get a big surprise! He had just dropped off a cup of tea and saw me happily at work. I continued using the supplies, and I still will. The husband never came in. Oh grief...I guess you're here to stay. 

These roses are blooming in Guen's backyard... and Libby is still blooming too.   

Gravesite

Here are some pictures of Guenevere's grave stone. Tis' a nice location on a hill. Her husband, Dave, will be buried next to her someday. These are the views from front and back. Its actually very pretty, and there are some lovely flowers planted close by. I miss her dearly.

A Heartfelt Tear

Some people have the gift of compassion. Others are fearful of it and avoid the subject completely. A wonderful friend sent this poem to me:


HEARTFELT TEAR
So close are the angels to those that grieve.
So close in Heaven to those who believe.
'Tho difficult it is to sometimes see beyond the sorrow,
Memories will help to comfort your tomorrow.
For love leaves a path that no one can steal,
And time is the element that it takes to heal.
The heartfelt tears you feel today
Is the delight you felt from yesterday.
So look inside the chambers of your heart
To see that you are not really apart.
When sorrow comes, just look above
Tears belong to those who had love.
True love never dies…….I Cor 13

Scholarship

On behalf of the Board of Directors of the California Advancement Researchers Association (CARA) < http://www.caresearchers.org >,we have unanimously voted to re-name our existing conference scholarship in memory of Guen, who once served as CARA's treasurer. The naming of the scholarship in Guen's honor and memory will be in perpetuity.

I remember how genuinely kind and helpful she was to me when I first joined the CARA Board in January 2007 and it is
evident that her loss has left a void in our profession and deeply saddened numerous research colleagues who knew her closely and whose lives she touched. We wish to honor her spirit and her service and dedication to our profession by renaming our existing annual conference scholarship in her memory.

Kind Regards,
Kimberly A. Ordunio

Testing 1,2,3...

I was told last week by a genetic cancer counselor that I am high risk for cancer. They are running all sorts of tests and so far everything is coming back normal. I am not worried about all this btw, as I gave it up to prayer. I just hung up with the nurse who gave a follow up call to say that my pelvic ultrasound was labeled as "unremarkable" and that the mammogram was benign. Looking forward to more tests coming back. This is new for me. I usually operate under a spirit of fear, telling myself I'd rather not know. Those days are over.

Prayers of the Faithful

When you get the news that you are pregnant, the thought never leaves your mind. For the duration, you are consumed with thoughts of everything "baby." I feel the same way about losing someone close. Everyday I wake up, and it takes just a few seconds before I am aware all over again...oh yes, my sister. I know that He knows, but sometimes I remind Him: God, I lost my sister.

During one of our visits in the hospital, she commented that she would pray for those who were praying for her. I thought that was so nice, and truthfully something I never thought of. I pray for people and situations that come to mind, but it never occurred to me, to pray for those AS they were praying for me. I knew it was a gift to hold onto when she spoke of it.

Sharing Grief

If you ever need it, Griefshare.org is a website dedicated to people going through loss and grief, and it has been very helpful to me. You can sign up for their emails.

There have been some really low moments and I felt like my emotions were affecting me physically. It is common to experience anxiety and worry many times in life. This was something different. Never before have I felt so overcome with sadness upon learning that my 35 year old sister had cancer. The shock manifested itself into this constant state of soreness. I consciously forced myself to relax and really focus on being healthy. When I called her friend back East to let her know, my bones hurt. The next day came an email from Griefshare. In it was a verse from Psalms about David crying out to the Lord in his sorrow, telling Him that his bones hurt! Wow- grief takes on many forms.

Happy Mother's Day!

You were a wonderful mum to Libby Guen! Happy Mother's Day to you dear sister. I am so glad you got to fulfill your dream of becoming a mother. This picture was taken Easter 2008.

One of Her Many Talents

Guen was a fabulous cook. She made this fresh fruit salad for Easter 2008. We would take turns cooking for the various holidays.

Yesterday I asked my brother-in-law for any of Guen's recipes that she was famous for. He made copies of 2 pie recipes and gave them to me. She was famous for the pumpkin one. We have all tasted pumpkin pie before but this one has whiskey in it and oh my! We made sure she always made it for Thanksgiving. The other one is apple and it was amazing. I was looking through some pictures and I was shocked to find this one...didn't know I had it. This picture is from Thanksgiving 2008 and I am so thankful.

What a Difference a Day Makes

On Jan. 15, my mom called earlier than expected. My sister's planned surgery to remove an abdominal cyst was scheduled for that morning. I guesstimated when it would be finished and about the time that I would get the call that she was fine and in recovery. When I saw the time and the caller id said it was my mom, I thought "Cool! easier, quicker surgery than expected."

I cheerfully answered the phone. The call was to let me know that the surgeon interrupted the surgery to inform my brother-in-law that he had discovered cancer. I remember pounding my granite island over and over. I kept saying "No! Oh No! "

My mom asked me to look up some flight info as her surgery was in a different state. I had incredible difficulty focusing. I went upstairs right after that, while we were still talking. I started packing and was done so quickly. I didn't know if I needed to get on a plane that day. The trip actually came later. As I was packing, I said to God, “This is big...this is really really big!” How I longed for January 14th again. The flowers are from the reception.

Forced to Simplify

We can all make a list about what we feel is most important. When Guen became sick, my list was instantly simplified. Every choice that followed became so basic. Anything extra was cut out. Meals were simple. Shopping was only for necessities. I stopped watching most tv... just a dvd here and there to unwind. Life had a new schedule. I was on the phone, texting constantly and back and forth to the hospital,etc.

What is most important? In this situation, the list was reduced to 2 things; good health and fervent prayer.

Underestimating the Power of Friendship

I have been blessed with many friends, and most of you know that I come from a huge family. I also know many from church and the community. This was an ordeal of such magnitude that I let people know right away when I learned that my sister had cancer. I needed their prayers! Although I had talked about her, no one had really ever met her before. I knew they would pray, but I really didn't think everyone would care so much. I expected a lot less from them. I underestimated them.

Many felt genuinely sorry about the whole situation. The amount of emails, phone calls, cards, flowers, and even gifts has been nothing short of amazing. Lots of my friends have called and emailed to check on me and I am so grateful. I belong to a club and we meet once a month. I had mentioned about my sister's passing only to the director, because I couldn't participate for a week. To my surprise she commented that her mother had died of Ovarian Cancer at the age of 42. Everyone has a loss story in some form. I just didn't expect to meet someone from a lighthearted outlet that would mirror my story. She gave me a beautiful bracelet with words of inspiration and a frame charm for a picture of my sister.

A burden shared is a burden halved.

Asking A Lot

Almost every time I would talk to Guen, she would say, "God is asking a lot of me", and I agreed. As much as I wanted my sister healed, I earnestly prayed for God's will. His choices are perfect and mine are self-serving. I had some fear/notion that her being out of pain may include her death. Everything I read about Ovarian Cancer indicated to me that this would have to be a miracle that God had not worked yet, or anyone had documented. The nature of having stage 4 cancer means your time is limited. Ovarian is a hormonal cancer and goes through your whole system.

I remember feeling that she might be holding on too tightly. It caused some anxiety for me. There came a day when she said she was resolved to leave everything in His hands. When I read that on her CaringBridge update, from her husband Dave, I was so relieved. I remember that moment with crystal clarity. I thought that Doctors and medicine are good things, but have so many limitations. In God's hands we could move forward.

The picture is of my Thanksgiving table in 2006. My sister was sick with some normal virus and couldn't join us. Of course I understood, but I remember being really bummed that she wasn't there.

Keeping the Faith

Guen was not one to tear people down. I have felt strongly that one of our biggest jobs is to encourage and build others up. God says you are either for Him or against Him. It is His kindness that leads to repentance. If you have encountered someone who is critical, you feel like fleeing. You feel that they are not for you, but against you. My sister was the opposite of that. We had lots of talks about what God expects of us, and how to do this thing called life.

Never assuming, or pretending to have clarity, she was always concerned about others feelings and doing the right thing. There were times when she lost patience, but ever so briefly. If I had any sort of heads up, I would have loved to write down things she said verbatim. Not having this type of foresight, I will have to recall much from memory.

At one time she was a runner. Guen fought the good fight, she finished the race, and she kept the faith (referring to 2Timothy 4:7) Her funeral was 2 weeks ago. Her race happened to be very short.

The Life of a Butterfly

A few years back I went to see the monarchs that migrated to Monterey, California. We can learn a lot from the beautiful butterfly. It has to struggle out of a cocoon. If it has any help, it will die. When it emerges from the dismal gray shell, it flies away in all its radiant color. Continuing its celebration of color, it lands on various flowers and shrubs for the nourishing nectar. Something hit me when I learned that butterflies only live for two weeks. Wow...all that struggle and ultimate beauty for only 2 weeks! Why bother?

Clearly it does not know how short its life span. The butterfly emerges, does its job, and is extinguished. We enjoy its unique beauty and appreciate its efforts at pollination. The butterfly blesses us for a short time and we are thankful.

Time Like the Present

There's plenty of time! I use to think so. You have seen all those books covering things to see or do before you die. I can guarantee that my sister had done none of those. Yet, she still managed to carve out a life for herself. As the years progressed, I think she had shifted her dreams and goals. I remember her feeling guilty that she waited so long to have a child, worried about finances and projects at work. The worry was for not, because she was going to encounter fertility problems. When she finally got pregnant, she would have a miscarriage. Her second pregnancy required hospitalized bedrest. She gave birth to a perfect, lovely baby girl, whom she would leave her job for, and become a stay at home mom.

She enjoyed being a mother, however she had some health problems. She called often and would talk about different pains that had to do with endometriosis and thoughts of maybe a bladder/kidney infection. After many doctor visits and ER visits, it was discovered that she had a cyst that would need to come out. Her baby was 16 months when the cancer was discovered. She lived until her little girl was 19 months. She was just getting started...even talked about homeschooling. Where did the time go?