I have a friend who lost her daughter, due to a car accident 2 years ago. She still is not coping. This was in today's Grief Share email and may be the explanation:
In the Bible the apostle Paul says that you should rejoice in your suffering. This advice sounds incredible, especially when you are in the midst of pain.
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" (Romans 5:3-5).
After looking closer at Paul's words, you will realize that he is not saying to be glad about what happened, not at all! He tells you that you are to use your suffering as a time of personal growth in which you ultimately experience an outpouring of God's love into your heart.
Dr. Ray Pritchard says, "Christians who most deeply experience the love of God are those who have not fought against God at the point of their suffering, but they've said, 'Lord, I don't understand. God, this doesn't make any sense. I wish this would go away, but, Lord, I'm going to cooperate with You. I'm going to walk with You through this.'
"Through that, God gives them perseverance; He develops character; character becomes hope, and in the end, their hearts are soft, and then they experience the love of God."
Lord, I'm not happy with this, but I will make the best of it. Pour out Your Spirit on me, and give me perseverance, character, and hope. Lord, I sure need hope. Amen.